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Before Daddybea…

Before Daddybear and I had kids and he was a bit of a pyromaniac, I mentioned that if any of our children came home from of his fire escapades without eyebrows he would be in trouble. Nowadays,  I try hard to teach my children  to recognize when something is safe and unsafe. Now I know they are young, really young, but Bear is getting pretty good at it. Yesterday, Daddybear was flicking a lighter on and off… in the car. Each time little Bear tells his Daddy “No, stop that” “It’s not safe, it’s not safe”. This morning when we got in the car the first thing littlebear asks me is, “no fire, okay?” “sure, no fire” “Mom, fire on candles is good, but fire in the car is bad” 


Irregular timed posts

In the past week, we had an impressive feat in our family. All three of my Grandparents ended up in the hospital. Not a surprise, but not fun either. We did a little play on Dr Seuss; the only thing we can do in the emergency room was sit, sit, sit, sit and we did not like it, not one little bit. Little bear got dropped off at Opa’s house and have fun. Bird had to stay off the floor of the ER for obvious reasons, staying off the ground is the worst possible punishment in her mind. She got to empty an entire box of Kleenex, turn lights on and off, nurse, and even watch Baby Einstein on my phone which managed to keep her attention for a whopping 28.5 seconds!




Bear found a grasshopper in one of his toy trains.”It was this tiny” he said, holding his hands together “he was driving the train, and I kill him. Kill him is good. Another grasshopper will come”

Bread making with little ones

High moisture bread! I recommend it! Basically, you mix water, yeast, salt and flour and you have bread. I know, homemade bread is to hard, but the high moisture content means no kneading, whatsoever. Also you can leave it on the counter ALL day and everything is still hunky dory. You can add anything to this dough; olives, chocolate, raisins, tomatoes. Or you can turn into dinner rolls, cinnamon buns, pizza crust. I dream about this bread.

   Seriously, I did dream about it a couple nights ago. Apricot Pecan Bread. When I awoke, I was sad when the scent of the bread went poof into the dreamy mist. So, eventually in the day we had this scenario.

  “Lets make bread!” I announce. “Why?” answers Bear, it is his answer to everything. Give the kid a toy and he will ask “Why?”. “Lets just drink some boodgie instead” he quips. “No, I will make you eggs instead”. Several minutes later, Bear and Bird are sitting on the kitchen counter (butt naked) nibbling nectarine slices and scrambled eggs with the requisite red ketchup sauce. I pull a bowl out and pour in warm water. Bird dips her nectarine, I gaze at the fruit bits floating in the water. Well, it is going to be fruit bread so I continue. “Here, Bear want to add the yeast. Just a small handful.” several whys ensue as he reaches into the bag. I made a mistake of calling yeast “bugs”, don’t exactly remember how, but I did. Bear panics, he jumps up and dances wildly trying to shake every fleck of yeast off whilst screaming bloody murder. I tell him they are not bugs which calms him down, which is good because the only thing he succeeded in was covering himself with yeast. Bird grabs some so she can be covered in yeast also. We successfully get flour in the bowl, go to stir and Bear throws a bite of egg smothered in ketchup. I recoil in horror, fish it out of the dough and continue. Bird has pulled out the jar of oatmeal and starts throwing oatmeal in the bowl, at her brother, on the floor, anywhere within her 2.5 foot radius. Bear wants down, Bird follows. I just need another 24 seconds to finish, when I hear ‘glug, glug, glug’ and am instantly standing in a puddle. I very large puddle. Bear has just poured half a gallon of water on the floor. Instant laughter: just add water. Toy cars keep careening out of control, Bird keeps slipping onto her back and sliding, Bear starts using the puddle as a slip and slide. He has never seen a slip and slide, however I think the company patented something that belongs to children’s imagination. I seem to remember young me and my little brother once coating the bathroom floor in shampoo, we were cleaning the bathroom so we had an excuse, and I think it was probably even funner than I remember. Which was loads! It also explains why my Mom bought shampoo at the dollar store. I waited until someone got hurt to clean up the water, I still listened to protests of “I need this water”. In addition my floor was mopped, kind of…


Potty Parties 1

because we will have more.

Bird is sitting on her little potty, I sit down to go also. Bear comes running into the bathroom yelling “pee, pee, pee”. I jump up so Bear can use the toilet at the same time his feet contact a puddle of water from Daddybear’s shower earlier, he lands on his back, which surprisingly only delays him several milliseconds. He lets me have my turn while he dances around the bathroom singing “man poop, man poop, mama has man poop”. Welcome to our life.

Hello world! I think I’ll keep this….

Trying to squelch some anxiety about trying to blog. But I have decided that I can’t all the poop and p-nis jokes to myself! I must share the hilarious antics of my nakedbutt children, and hopefully Daddybear with add some picture considering he has wanted to illustrate a webcomic since I met him.